Are you a wallflower? A little too quiet? Perhaps you’re the one who always feels awkward at the social brunch or employee meetings. You might suck at communicating if you can’t talk about something, with everyone. Here are 10 signs that talking to you, is a flat out drag.
Signs You’re Socially Inept
Not everyone can roll with the punches and keep the proverbial balloon in the air while talking. It’s a craft. Use these 10 clues to determine whether you need to up your social interaction game.
1.It’s All About You- Talking about yourself nonstop is a sure-fire way to get ditched by a date at the table, or bore a group of friends. Nobody wants to hear all about your life, problems, drama, etc. Learn to listen more than you speak and avoid personal conversations that always seem to lead, back to you.
2. You Have No Idea What’s Going On– People who read and watch news stories are more interesting. If you don’t know what’s going on in the world you’re going to be boring to speak to. Spend 10 minutes of your social media time each morning catching up on current events and the latest stories. You’ll always have something to talk about if you know what’s going on.
3. You Show No Emotion- Boring people lack emotion. If you can sit through a joke without so much as cracking a smile, you may be difficult to talk to. The same is true if you lack empathy and can’t relate to the excitement or fears of those in your company. Show emotions when people converse with you and try to relate to what they’re experiencing and saying by nodding and acknowledging them when they speak.
4. You’re Set in Your Ways- People set in their ways living sedentary lifestyles are boring. A life rich with new experiences means you’re open to change and live in the moment. Go ahead and start checking off your bucket list and live your weekends doing something new instead of monotonous.
5. You have No Opinions- Understand both sides of every argument and situation and you’ll always have a valid opinion. Boring people tend to keep quiet and say nothing when asked their feedback on very important issues because they have nothing to contribute and are unaware. Whether it’s situations in your work environment or in your personal relationships, you need to have a firm opinion on things in order to speak effectively about them.
6.You Don’t Read Body Language- Learn the verbal cues of your company and you’ll know when it’s time to stop talking, listen, or begin asking questions. Boring people ignore very-important body language and fail to involve other people in conversations. You should be able to tell when your words have lost their audience.
7. You Can’t Tell a Joke– This isn’t the same thing as misunderstanding other’s humor. This is much worse. If you can’t tell a joke it’s because you lack cognitive flexibility. Meaning, you can’t see things from a variety of perspectives. Read about personality types and learn how to relate to all different styles of humor so that you can at least tell a one-liner, effortlessly.
8. You Express No Excitement- Boring people don’t look forward to much, and if they do, they don’t express it. There’s no such thing as overly happy or overly sad. Boring people come across as very neutral, dry, and even-keel.
9. You Don’t Smile- Smiling will increase your self-confidence and make it easier for people to talk to you. This is especially important if you’re meeting people for the first time or are trying to fit into a new social circle. Boring people look bored. Who wants to talk to that? Make yourself more approachable by being genuinely happy.
10. You Don’t Get It- Emotional intelligence will help you through jobs, marriage, and countless relationships. If you have a hard time relating to people you might seem boring simply because you’re never engaged in conversation. Make a point to study body language, personality types and communication styles so that you actually “get” how to talk to people.
It’s difficult to break out of your shell and adapt to new environments and personality types. These tips will ensure you’re not boring. Because even if you go home and watch Netflix on your couch every night, surrounded by your 10 cats, nobody needs to know that.