Nobody likes a liar, so it makes total sense that you shouldn’t lie on your dating profile unless you want any potential suitors to despise you later, or you simply plan to live in a falsified world, awaiting a new and more exciting romance.

Dating is hard enough that 100 percent honesty can completely wipe out all reasonable and desirable options. So, if you are going to lie, you should focus on telling only the following few. These are the only acceptable lies that you can put on your dating profile.

Anything else makes you a total liar, and then he shouldn’t like you anyway.

5 Acceptable Lies You Should Tell on Your Dating Profile

  • Where You Live- You can totally lie about where you live. It should be expected that you lie about this. If you want to live in a flat, go right ahead. You can even live on a boat, if you’d like. You can live anywhere, and you never have to take him there, so get creative and live in your dream home.
  • What You Think of Him– No, you really aren’t that interested, but you’re sorta bored at the moment and going with the flow, so it’s OK to lie about being smitten. This is a necessary lie because your opinion might change later, and once you tell him you think he’s a douche, you can’t take it back. So, in the meantime, you lie about it. If things work out he’ll thank you for it. So, it’s OK. It has the potential to be a good lie.
  • You’re Over Your Ex– You already screwed up when you mentioned him, after three glasses of wine, date number one. That was stupid. Now you must go along with it and pretend you are over your ex, and the truth is you are stalking his social profiles every single day. And you follow his friends and his new girlfriend. You know where she works and happened to show up there last week, just to look at her from far away. You are totally over him and you should just lie about it. Everything. All of it. (It’s fucking weird.)
  • You Have Hobbies- But you really don’t. Your hobbies include shopping, eating sushi with your friends, drinking way too much vodka, falling asleep to the Netflix series Crazy Ex Girlfirend (see above) and that’s about freaking it. The cats are lucky if they eat. You don’t have any “hobbies.” But, you better get some quick.
  • You Don’t Mind He Has Kids- This is tricky because it just depends. Everything looks good from the outside, and you certainly don’t want to come across as a possible “wicked stepmother”, so you just gotta go with this one. You might form a meaningful bond with his kids, or you may think they are little spoilt brats and you won’t be able to keep your cool for long when they’re around you. Soon, you’ll be micromanaging half of his parental duties. The kids will hate you and plot their parents getting back together. Then you’ll somehow begin stalking HER social profiles, in addition to your ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend. And things just become a frigging mess. So, you must lie about the kids for now. Nobody needs to rock the boat.

The Truth Was Worse Than the Lie Itself

Being honest on your dating profile is a slippery slope. Do you really WANT to stay single forever? What’s your whole reason for being on there to begin with?  These 5 acceptable lies prove that the truth isn’t always what it seems. It can be much, much worse. Zip it.

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